Be that friend....

About a year ago I recently got back in contact with a really good friend of mine. We had attended prep school together in Jamaica but grew apart when I started high school and she moved back to to the States. It was so ironic that we haven't spoken for years but once we got back in contact it was like we have never been apart. It may sound cliche but people really do change. She was still a sweet person but after long hours on the phone I instantly learned a lot about the type of person she had become. She had become a true stranger to me.

Still kind-hearted and still a charismatic individual but I realized that she was going down the wrong path. She never graduated high school, she was a stripper, she was on drugs and alcohol, she had two daughters that were taken from her and she was divorced at only age 24. Wooow I thought to myself! How did she end up down this path? I have always known her to be a smart and goal-oriented person and it really bothered me that the person I knew 15 years ago was not the same person I reunited with today. 

I have never been one to pass judgment on someone because I don't know what they are going through and I don't know what they went through instead I try to be a true friend and try to understand. Life is strange though because a lot of times people don't realize that God works in mysterious ways. People are placed in our lives sporadically but if you believe in fate you know they were put there for a reason and out of all the places I could be in the world I end up running into her 15 years later. 

She seriously had nothing good going for her and was inspired by the type of life I was living and the goals I have set for myself. She would tell me repeatedly how proud she was of me and how she wished she was like me. I always responded by saying, you don't have to be me but you don't have to be the person you are either.

People's attitudes towards life can be contagious and I'm glad my friend caught this 'positive flu' from me. Not to pat myself on the shoulders but I am proud to say that I feel great knowing that I have impacted someone's life and have been a great influence. 

Today this same person I reunited with a year ago has cleaned up her life. She recently got her GED, she is no longer a stripper, clean from substance abuse and has remarry. I am proud of her because she has been through a lot and she looked at how I handled my life and was inspired to be a better person.

Be that shoulder that others can lean on in their most depressing times....I truly believe that a true friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out. Be a positive influence in somebody's life and you will be surprised at how powerful you actually are.

Ten Must-Haves in Every Woman's Closet

Women I know we all have different body types and that we all like different things but one thing I think we can all agree on are the Must-Haves in every woman's closet. I have compiled a list of the ten things that should be in every woman's closet regardless of age, race, career or fashion sense. These pieces are the basics but they will complement all the other pieces in your closet.

1. LITTLE BLACK DRESS

How often do you hear "every woman should have a little black dress?" Well it is true ladies! A little black dress is a must have in every woman's closet because no matter the occasion you can never go wrong with black. Not only is it classic but it is also easy to accessorize.

                                                                 Photo by Forever 21
          

2. NICE PAIR OF JEANS

Some women have 10 pairs and some have 50 pairs but in all honesty ladies you only need two pairs of jeans. A dark wash for night time and a light wash for day time. The key to finding a nice pair of jeans however is to know your body type. Too often I see females in jeans with their butt cracks peeping out or in jeans so tight that they get 'muffin tops'.  It is not cute! If you are not sure how to shop for the right jeans for your body type, I suggest you get help from a sales associate at a major department store like Bloomingdale's or Nordstrom. Try jeans that you like and also take their suggestion. It might be hard to find that perfect fit at first but there is a pair of jeans out there for every body type. 

                                                                      Photo by Express

3. BLAZER
I cannot stress how important it is to have a blazer in your closet. I suggest darker colors or neutrals. One of the greatest things about a blazer is it goes with just about anything in your closet. You can throw it over a dress for a dressier look or wear it with a plain white t-shirt and some jeans for a more casual look. Whatever the look you are going for adding a blazer to your outfit can do a lot for it.

                                                                     Photo by Wet Seal

4. BASIC HEELS
Just like how a little black dress fits into any occasion, the same goes for a black pair of basic heels.You cannot go wrong with a pair of basic black pumps. It can be worn with a dress, with jeans, with shorts even naked if you want. One of the best things about black pumps is that there are 10 million different styles out there. Choose the style that represents you!

Photo by Bebe

5. WHITE DRESS SHIRT

This is an important closet staple and a great layering piece. I have so many white shirts and I have a lot of fun wearing them. There are days where I sport a plain white dress shirt with jeans, heels and lots of accessories and there are other days where I sport the more sophisticated look; nice dress pants and maybe a sweater or jacket. A woman can never have to many white shirts as they are a great investment. 

      

                                                                  Photo by Talbots

6. CLASSIC HANDBAG

I'm tired of seeing females walking around with handbags that match their outfit. If they are wearing green they have a green handbag. Quite frankly I think it is hideous! Who said your handbag has to match your  outfit color for color? Ladies one of your biggest investment should be in a classic handbag it does not necessarily have to be designer but at least leather. Black would be a great investment but neutrals also work. A classic handbag will be durable, multi-functional, always in season and will dress up any outfit.  

  

                     

                       Photos by Marc Jacobs               

7. SUNGLASSES

Well maybe you would not find them in your closet but sunglasses should be a staple piece for every woman. Having many pairs is okay but make sure these pairs are selected carefully and are suitable for the shape of your face. Every woman needs at least one pair of great sunglasses. It does not have to be expensive to be a great pair.

                                                             Photo by Charlotte Russe 

           

8. BLACK SUIT

Many women might be thinking why would I need to have a suit? Isn't that for career women? In all honesty all women must have a black suit in their closet. Why? It is good for interviews if your are not in the corporate world as yet and if you are it is good for big meetings. Your black suit can be either pants or skirt. Whatever your preference may be a black suit is a great investment. The beauty about a black suit is that it also complements any shirt or blouse regardless of fit, texture, and color. 

                                                           

                                                          

                                                               Photo by Kenneth Cole

9. SNEAKERS

I think I can count on one hand the number of sneakers I have owned in my lifetime. Sneakers have never been one of my favorites. Since recently however, I started to realize that every woman needs at least one pair of sneakers in her closet. That one pair can be worn for both workouts and casual activities. 

                                                                    Photo by Nike

10. T-SHIRTS

One can never have too many t-shirts because they are versatile, great for layering or for wearing alone. Black, white, brown and navy are indispensable and every woman should continuously replenish her closet with these staple pieces. T-shirts are simple but come in fun styles and length. I personally prefer long sleeve, v-neck t-shirts because they are suitable for my body type.

                                                               Photo by Bloomingdale's

I hope I have enlightened some of you and I urge you if you haven't already added these staples to your closet to do so. Keep in mind that looking good does not have to be expensive and whatever your budget is, these are staple pieces that should be in every woman's closet and I mean every!

Everything not so tweet....

So often I have heard my friends say that Facebook and Twitter destroy relationships and I always respond that social networking sites don't destroy relationships; people do! Since recently I got a dose of what my friends have been saying and I have come to the realization that assumptions are destroying relationships not social network.

                                                  

Before my boyfriend had a twitter account he would occasionally bring up something I tweeted and I found it funny because that was just outright snooping. I urged him to get an account and follow me instead of tweet watching and he took my advice. I have no problems with him being on twitter because I have nothing to hide and that's why even when he didn't have an account I didn't private my tweets.

So now he joins twitter and even though he doesn't really understand the whole concept he was grasping it little by little. I have over 400 followers on twitter and I follow about about 150 people. Most I know and some I have met through tweeting mutual friends. My boyfriend would go through my followers and ask "who is this and who is that?" My response would be they follow me, I don't know who they are. I tried to explain to him that Facebook and Twitter are slightly different. Different in the sense that most people on Facebook actually add people they know but on Twitter people  follow random people for various reasons.

A few weeks ago we were at my dad's for New Years and I will admit I was on Twitter most of the night wishing everyone a Happy New Year and also responding to tweets. My boyfriend was a little upset that I was tweeting all night and out of respect I stopped. When the party died down he went outside for a smoke and left me inside. I was wondering to myself why is he taking so long. About thirty minutes later he stormed upstairs and showed me the photo of one of my twitter friends and said, "good-looking fellow huh?"Again my response was why are you going through my tweets from a few hours ago and what is the problem now?

 He was apparently mad at me for responding to a question this guy asked via twitter. The question was nothing sexual nor was this guy or myself flirting.Till this very day I still don't understand how my boyfriend came to that conclusion. Here goes the tweet that almost cost me my relationship. You be the judge and let me know if I was flirting.

Earlier during the day I had tweeted I'm full and tipsy after being at TGIF. My follower tweeted back saying "Oh what have you been drinking" and I said mojitos. Okay so the conversation ends right there. Nothing more nothing less just a simple question was asked. Tell me why my boyfriend thought this tweet was a big deal? Maybe I'm missing something but how on earth is this guy flirting with me and I'm flirting back by responding to a simple question. I just think that some people take these social networking sites too seriously. I mean it is twitter it just there for entertainment. It seems as if people can't be cordial to others online any more without assumptions and conclusions being drawn...

V-Day gifts should reflect her personality

Ladies do you feel as if you always get the same type of gift from your husband or boyfriend? Do you feel as if no true thought was put into your gift? Men are simple creatures and also ten minute shoppers. They can walk into a store at 10:30 and find something by 10:32 but why is this so? This is only because a lot of them have a general notion that all women like the same things regardless of age, race, and size.

I have been doing some observation about the way men shop for their women and I have come to the realization that a lot of men are close-minded when it comes to shopping for their partner. Valentine's Day is around the corner and I know a lot of men already have it figured out. How many of you are thinking stuffed animals and chocolate? I bet almost all of you are and it shouldn't be. My duty is open your minds to different gift ideas or different things to do this Valentine's Day. I'm not saying women don't like chocolate, stuffed animals, lingerie and a nice dinner. What I'm saying guys is that women like to be wowed...women like gifts out of the ordinary but you got to keep in mind that women like gifts that  that reflect who they are!

 Every woman loves jewelry but who said every woman wants diamonds. If you are thinking to get your partner diamond earrings this year please stop right there. The trick to getting a woman the right piece of jewelry is to think about her personality. Earrings are not the only type of jewelry. Watches, bracelets, rings, necklaces, belly rings, nose rings and toe rings do make great gifts if they are carefully selected. Remember finding the perfect gift should reflect her personality. 

 Every woman likes to have dinner but who said every woman wants it to be at a five star restaurant. Guys don't think that every girl wants to get dressed up  to go eat at an expensive restaurant. Think about her personality and select a restaurant or place where you know she will be comfortable eating at.Great places to try are PF Changs, Joe's Crab Shack, Lula's, Taverna Opa, Saitos Japanese Steakhouse, Brio and the Cheesecake Factory just to name a few. 

 Every woman has a sweet tooth but who said every woman wants chocolate. Every Valentine's Day I get chocolate and guess what? I don't even like chocolate. Again this goes to prove my point. All women are different.Figure out your partner and the type of candy she likes before you run off to get chocolate. Think outside of the box...What about other candies like gummies, marshmallows, jellies or chocolate covered cherries? 

Every woman loves flowers but who said every woman wants red roses. Guys roses are not the only type of flowers out there. Again knowing your partner's personality and likes will help you in selecting the right type of flowers for her. 

 Every woman loves a great experience but who said every woman wants the same experience. Guys this Valentine's Day there are so many wonderful gifts of experience that you can give your partner and again it all boils down to her personality. Some suggestions are helicopter ride, spa treatment, learning to cook, parasailing, kayaking, scuba diving or a dinner cruise just to name a few.

Every woman loves a personalized gift because it shows that thought was put into something and that you didn't just walk into a store and grabbed the first thing you saw. Guys personalized gifts can be just about anything that reflects the both of you whether it represents the first time you met or something as cheesy as a customized t-shirt. I guarantee you your partner will be wowed if you go with a personalized gift this year.

Guys I hope I opened up your minds to different gift ideas for Valentine's Day. I now urge you to put some thought into what would be the perfect gift for you partner. Remember now that whatever your selection is make sure it is a reflection of your partner's personality. 

I want it for the price that is listed

On Sunday night I was on amazon.com ordering books for this semester. After completing my order I decided to browse their site since the only thing I ever order from them are books. My little brother recently asked for a Playstation 3 for his birthday and not knowing much about the gaming device I decided to check it out. I was scrolling through looking at different brands but one thing I noticed was that all the prices were pretty similar with the average price being $399.99. I thought to myself that is an awful lot of money to spend on a 14 year old and was about to exit the site when i saw a PS3 listed for $39.99 from Target.

I thought to myself this price must be wrong when compared to the other prices I saw earlier. I sat there and I thought about it and came to the conclusion that if the website said the price is $39.99 then the price is $39.99. So what do you think I did? Of course I placed an order, as a matter of fact I ordered 2 PS3s. I was so excited because I thought I was getting a GREAT deal!!

My order was a total of $111.35 and I made sure to print my invoice just in case there were any discrepancies. Now my order is complete and is on its way to be shipped but the following day I received an email from Amazon customer service stating that they just now realized that the product had a mismatched price which was displayed incorrectly and that they are unable to offer the items. My order was however canceled. Hmmmm okkayyyy I thought to myself but correct me if I'm wrong. If a customer walks into a store and sees a product listed for a certain price but when they get to the cashier they are told another price but goes back with the cashier and shows her where they saw the product and what it was listed for even if it was a mistake as a consumer you are entitled to the price that was listed. Right or wrong?

That is exactly how I felt about my order....it was listed for that price and I think I should have gotten it for the price listed. I totally understand that we are all humans and that we all make mistakes but as consumers we have rights and rightfully that PS3 should have been sold for the listed price.

Why Men Marry Bitches

 I was strolling around in Barnes and Noble in Boca Raton over the weekend when I was immediately captivated by the title of one book in particular Why Men Marry Bitches. At first I didn't know what to think and that intrigued me. Is this a book degrading women or this this a book encouraging women to be bitches or this this a book implying that men love bitches?

                                                    


Out of curiosity I started flipping through the pages. I realized that I had to get this book if I wanted to get a full understanding about it and the meaning behind its title. Might I say ladies and gentlemen too, this is one of the best books I have ever read. It is written by a woman Sherry Agrov but the content is from a man's point of view as the author has compiled numerous interviews and testimonies from different men who kept it REAL with what they admire and want in a woman; one that they would actually marry.

Relationship Principle No.3 states: "He doesn't marry a woman who is perfect. He marries the woman who is interesting."

This book is humorous but it offers tips and relationship advice undermining the notion that being overtly nice to man will make him more devoted. That is a myth. A man isn't more likely to be committed to the 'nice' girl; in other words, the girl who lets him be the sole dictator in the relationship, the girl who lets him have his way, the girl who is always readily available and the girl who will accept any and everything. Im sure we have all heard the saying that nice guys finish last but what about nice girls? The book proved that they finish last too!!

An excerpt from the book states: "The fastest way to become boring to a man is to always do as you are told..."

Why Men Marry Bitches is truly a guide for 'nice' girls as it will challenge convention, broaden your understanding of why some relationships don't progress, and modernize the way you think about how a man chooses a soul mate.

The book isn't implying that you shouldn't be nice but that you shouldn't be too nice. Men seem to be more attracted to a woman who has her own identity and is secure with who she is. The use of the word 'bitch' doesn't mean someone cruel or mean but is intended to be satirical and represents a strong and intelligent woman who is confident about what she wants and how to get it.

Relationship Principle No.35 states: "Men are intrigued by anything they don't completely control"

Many women might see this book on shelves in bookstores and be appalled by its title because of the negative connotation attached to the word 'bitch'. I however dare you to read this book and I'm sure you will find that the word 'bitch' isn't such a bad word at all.